Episode 7 and the valley of tears

Grace Hill Images

Grace Hill Images

Well this episode made us cry didn't it?!  By far the hardest one to watch.  First lets chat about the non-important competition stuff of Episode 7.  Our challenge this week was by far the most fun I have had thus far on the show.  Acting is not something that I see myself doing in the long run but it was a great experience.  To have to play a straight man was not an easy task and I think that I delivered as best I could!  The fact that I had to kiss Kari made it all the more fun!  She's one sexy lady if I do say so myself.  Adam surprised me a lot and I loved his performance.  Obviously Denzel won, he is a natural actor.  

Our photoshoot was obnoxiously hard this week.  We only had 15 minutes on the ice before the medic would take us off and warm us up. Ain't nobody got time for hypothermia!  I was also wearing LATEX y'all, LATEX. EWWWWWW. That stuff just makes you feel naked and doe not prevent the cold from getting all up in you.  It was fun watching everyone but honestly I watched from the dressing room... It was too cold to stand out there and watch. Everyone felt that way though so we didn't really see each other go. Oh well, we all got mediocre shots in my opinion.  The only stand out for me was baby Lenox and her fierce Ice Queen gorgeous self. AMAZING! 

Now for the juicy stuff. 

I overheard the conversation between Denzel and Keith as you all saw. Let me just say that this is not dramatized or edited in a way that makes the situation worse. It is exactly how it was and edited the way it all happened.  The part that hurt the most was the fact that Denzel was someone I had grown close with and someone that I had bonded with over the past few weeks.  When you give someone your trust it makes you vulnerable.  Growing up I never really trusted people because I was scared of being judged.  Going into this competition I was excited because I would be surrounded by people who were gay in the industry and influential people who did not judge. Then when someone in the house made comments directly about me as a person and not a competitor it scared me for a second and made me think I needed to trust less and be on my guard more. I was very upset about the situation just because it put me back about three years where I was struggling with coming out and all the way back to middle school where I was bullied.  Places I never want to go or feel again.  Growing up was rough and comments like that were normal back in the day.  I just put myself so far out there coming onto this show that it was nerve wracking to me.  I was 100% vulnerable throughout the whole competition not only for me as a model but also for me as a person.  Thats scary y'all.  What do they say? What doesn't kill you makes you stronger. Thanks Kelly Clarkson! What did I do. Dusted it off strapped on my heels and showed up at panel.  I can win this and will not stop until I get to the end! Watch out Denzel! A man in heels may just beat you.

Since then Denzel and I have made up and also we have talked it out.  I have forgiven him, something I hope you will all do. Never fight back with more hate. Only forgiveness. You will always have haters. Don't give into them or listen to them. Be above them and show them their words don't matter. I love Denzel and am blessed that he has become one of my closest friends. 


Be sure to watch our This is We Recap HERE!

Also check out my recap for

Don't forget to always be yourself and keep on dreaming.  If you reach your dreams find new ones. Bigger and better. You have all the potential in the world. I believe in you and know that you have what it takes. LOVE you all! Thank you for all the love you have shown me =)

Until next week!

Love for all!

Posted on October 8, 2014 .